Shrinking Violet? Shrinking Muddy!
I know, I know, it’s hard to believe, but there are a few flabby bits on the old Muddy bod. Well, let’s be honest, there are a lot of flabby bits. So given the chance to try out the Shrinking Violet Wrap — which promises the more-or-less instant loss of inches — I jumped at it.
The Lavender and Stone Beauty Rooms, who are in Southdown and Bushey Heath, are offering this locally, and Donna — who’s a real expert at it — is just the sort of down-to-earth, friendly soul that you’d want sizing you up and wrapping you in what feels like industrial-strength clingfilm (but isn’t).
So, what happens? Well, first off you strip down and get measured. To be fair, standing in my undies with someone measuring me and writing down actual numbers is pretty close to my worst nightmare — but Donna made it all very straightforward and as not-embarrassing as it could possibly be. She measured my upper arms, my bust, waist and hips, and my upper thighs. I’ll spare you the numbers, though — I have my dignity, after all.
Then there’s a quick rub down with dry exfoliating mitts — gets all that dead skin off and the circulation hopping. Donna then smoothed on the oil blend that does the actual magic. It smells really good — there are cypress, lavender and juniper essential oils, which help with the cellulite, but the bit that actually gets to work on your flab is an active phospholipid solution of hydrolised lethecin (still with me?) and the concentration is really high — 3 times other wraps on the market, apparently. The oils and the phospholipids are blended in a nanoceutical solution — which basically means that it can get into your skin and down to where it’ll do its work much more easily. It doesn’t rely on water loss to get you thinner — which some do — but on actually breaking down the fat cells. It’s dead scientific — the triglycerides within the fat cells in your subcutaneous layer are broken down into free fatty acids, which your body can then more easily get rid of. You drink lots of water afterwards — and wee a lot — and that’s where it goes.
So, Donna wrapped me up — tightly, but not uncomfortably so — in a special film designed to raise your temperature and get everything moving. Once I’d waddled over to the couch, she bundled me up in layers of towels (lovely purple ones, in fact) and one of those foil blankets that lets you pretend you’ve just run a marathon. And then she left me to it. For an hour.
To be honest, it’s not the most relaxing experience — I was never going to drift off into a sneaky afternoon nap like I often do during, say, a massage. It’s lovely and warm, though, and you can’t do anything so it’s quite neat just to have a bit of a rest. I spent the time texting Mr C (“guess what I’m wearing, honey….”) and scrolling through Facebook. No selfie, though.
Then came the moment of truth. Donna cut me out of the cling film and it was time to measure again. Again, I’ll spare you the hard numbers — but suffice it to say, my arms lost a centimetre each, there was a centimetre off my bust, a whopping THREE centimetres off my waist — and you could actually see a difference on the bit in between, one-and-a-half centimetres off my hips, and 2cm off each thigh. No kidding: when I put my jeans back on afterwards, the legs definitely felt looser.
The recommended plan is 4-6 treatments — perfect if you’re slimming down for a big event, getting into that perfect dress, or plateauing out in your weight loss. Donna was telling me how lots of people do it before they get married. But you can get measurable results, like I did, just doing it once. And, unlike the ones that simply dehydrate you, it does stay off — as long as you don’t live on Big Mac, of course. I’m still noticing it, and that’s over a week on. If you’re having more than one, though, you need to leave at least 72 hours between them — the phospholipids are still working all that time.
I’ll admit to having been a bit of sceptic going in — willing to give it a try and crossing my fingers that it would work but just not sure about it. But it actually did make a difference. It’s not going to replace actually losing the weight, which I know I need to do, but it did give me a little boost — a bit of a spring in the ol’ Muddy step — and I can totally imagine doing it before having to squeeze into an outfit for something really special.
Right now, Lavender and Stone have a bit of deal on it, too — and here at Muddy Herts, we love a bargain. Result.