The first working Monday of the New Year has unfortunately been branded ‘Divorce Day’, with a things often coming to a head over the hectic festive season. Debenhams Ottaway’s Stacey St Clair specialises in divorce, financial and family matters, so she knows how stressful divorce can be, particularly when it comes to navigating the daunting legal process. But you don’t have to go it alone. Having a team of divorce professionals to inform and support you through every stage of the process is crucial to achieving the best outcome, says Stacey. She explains more.

First steps

I’m collaboratively trained, which taught me the importance of really listening to my clients, and I enjoy working as part of a team in an open and transparent process. Each client will have different and specific needs, and the right lawyer will be able to help you build your team around you. I will always identify these needs in the first meeting. For example I might recommend a counsellor if someone is feeling very emotional and overwhelmed, or has no idea how to approach the legal process. They shouldn’t be making big decisions if they are not emotionally ready, so this can give people the time out that they need to process and prepare for what’s to come. It can also help individuals develop coping strategies to enable them to make those really difficult decisions. The initial meeting with your lawyer is a chance to tell your story and for your lawyer to assess your needs based on that.

Who should be on your team?

Think about it like going in for an operation. You don’t just rely on the surgeon to get the job done – there’s a whole raft of other experts involved, from the anaesthetist and nurses to the pre- and post-operative teams, and I use this analogy about a divorce. In around 70% of cases clients need a therapist or counsellor. They might also need a pension advisor, or a private wealth advisor to help them manage budgets and understand shared assets or business assets.

Divorce coaches are really popular at the moment, too, and I often recommend them to my clients if that’s what they want. It’s important to realise that it’s not all on you – there are other people who can help. As a lawyer, I am the main point of contact to arrange the meetings (which takes the pressure off my clients), and this might in involve a three-way meeting with myself, the client and a third-party expert. But while I work with and recommend therapists, it’s usually better for the client to arrange those meetings to suit them.

But won’t more experts cost more money?

Cost is often my clients’ biggest worry, but ultimately if the right people (or tools) are on hand to make speedy discussions and negotiations and to help you understand what a fair settlement is without having to go through the court process, it’s not going to cost a lot more than it would just having a lawyer. Since no fault divorce has come in it has stopped as much of that ‘he said’, ‘she said’ blame culture, which is a step in the right direction, but it’s always in the client’s best interests to settle out of court, as proceedings and potential delays can become incredibly costly.

Still not convinced?

Having a divorce ‘team’ might not be something you are on board with at the start of the process, but the good thing is that you can opt in at any point if you change your mind later down the line. It also makes my job easier as a lawyer because I will be fully informed about all the options, meaning we can have a proactive approach in terms of being ready to put offers forward. The wellbeing of my clients is really important to me. If their emotional issues are being dealt with by an expert, it means I’m not the first port of call when something has happened with a partner, so they’re less likely to make reactive, rash decisions.

What’s next?

It’s important to have next steps lined up, as a lot of clients feel scared about what happens at the end of the legal process and whether they’re just going to be left on their own. Often though, they will need more time with their counsellor or other experts such as pension advisors after I’ve done my job, so having the right team in place from the start is so important.

For more information about how Debenhams Ottaway’s Family Law Team can help you if you’re going through a divorce or other family matters.

Why you need a divorce support squad

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