Stacey St Clair, Family Lawyer at Debenhams Ottaway Solicitors

Talk us through the kind of work you do…

The cases I deal with include divorce and the distribution of finances, and can involve complex disputes between parents about arrangements for children – from child abduction to international relocations. I also deal with pre and post-nuptial agreements and disputes between co-habitants. We offer a premium service and deal with complex financial matters but I always try to help my clients reach an agreement in a flexible, collaborative and amicable way without having to go to court. I am a firm believer in reducing tension and conflict between couples or parents and giving realistic, bespoke advice. People need time to process each stage of a separation so, as their lawyer, I need to be patient, have empathy and be proactive in understanding the additional support that they might need.

How do you help people to begin what can be a very difficult emotional process?

Some clients will be opening up about their situation for the very first time, aren’t ready to go through the divorce process and never imagined they would be going through it. I listen, which is key, and I clearly talk them through next steps. Wellbeing and mental health is of huge importance during these processes so I often encourage my clients to seek emotional support from the beginning. This can help to reduce any conflict between the parents or couple separating.

During the first meeting with a client I let them explain what has happened, which gives me an overview. By the end of the meeting I hope to have a clear action plan agreed with the client so they can feel reassured and safe. I really care about my clients and my aim is to look after them from the start to the end and help them see that eventually they will be able to move on and hopefully be happy again.

You must feel like you have a secondary role as a counsellor at times…

Yes! This is why I am campaigning for change. Separating couples will struggle with work and telling colleagues and friends. We need to change the narrative and increase awareness about the wellbeing of families going through separation and conflict. In most cases the client does need emotional support and working alongside a trained therapist is crucial to their mental health. It makes my role easier too as they will be better able to deal with their emotions, instead of making impulsive decisions.

In some cases putting the matter on hold until they have sought emotional help and processed why the relationship has broken down will put them in a better place to reach an agreement. The new divorce process allows for a cooling off period, which is really helpful and allows couples to have time to think. These are major life decisions with complex sensitive issues and each case requires specific advice and consideration.

What are your clients’ main concerns when they come to you?

Children and costs are the main concerns and I completely understand that. At Debenhams Ottaway we have a range of qualified experts to assist, and a range of hourly rates, so the services are affordable. I have many clients who want to ensure the children have two homes, while others postpone the divorce or moving out until the children have finished exams. Each family is different and has different needs. I am transparent about costs from the beginning, and we give clear cost estimates to help our clients to budget.

What would you say to those who think lawyers are tough and scary?

There are some out there, but I am not one! It is important to be empathic and understand the client’s individual needs. When I need to be firm and robust I will be. Sometimes solving a problem for a client may involve just picking up the phone and having a conversation with the other party. Not every case needs lengthy letters and court action.

How important is it to have women in the family law workplace?

Some clients think they can relate to a female lawyer better, perhaps because we know the first concerns for mothers is for their children and we’re often considered to have more empathy. Here at Debenhams Ottaway 75% of the firm, 50% of our partners and over 60% of our senior leadership team is female. Plus half of us work part time or on an a-typical work pattern. I believe that having more women in the workforce makes a company a better place to work for all.

What’s the best part of your job?

So many clients ask me: ‘Will I be ok?’ and helping them to create a plan to move on with their new life and to understand that yes, they will be ok, is a good feeling. Being a part of a friendly team with the same ethos as me and who really care, is crucial to that.

Want to get in touch about a divorce or family matter? Find out more about Stacey here, Email her here or call her on: 01727 229342. And for more information about Debenhams Ottaway, click here.

Muddy meets… Stacey St Clair, Family Lawyer

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